I learned something last night.
Be careful with where you cast your eyes.
It doesn’t have to be explicitly sexual thoughts that can feed your lust.
In surfing facebook last night as well as during my time out and about today, I’ve come to notice more about my own personal tendency to appreciate the outward physical beauty of the female form. My eyes enjoy taking in every curve and shape sometimes….in a totally innocent fashion (the same way I appreciate God’s creation when I take nature pics).
However…. in retrospect…. how healthy is that ?
Not necessarily because I could possibly slip into thinking sexual thoughts….
…..but one day I plan on getting married.
We already know that going in to a marriage with previous sex partners sets you up to ‘compare’ what you’ve had before (no matter how hard you say you’re not and you won’t….at least at first….especially if in your non-married life, you’ve had a lot of sex and developed preferences….).
I think that also transfers over to what you accustom your eyes to looking at and ‘delighting in’. Hence, there’s a crisis in America right now of 40-something year old men ‘trading in’ their wives of 10-20+ years for someone typically 15-20 years younger than them. That doesn’t mean too much to some of the younger folk readin’ because their minds aren’t ready for marriage yet….but read on anyway.
If my wife doesn’t have the BeyoncÃ© booty, the Gabrielle Union face, the Zoe’ Salada smile, the Jennifer Hudson bustline….but she’s still a pretty attractive woman….. just not ‘them’….. what have I set myself up to truly ‘appreciate’ once she and I get married ?
I plan on having a lot of kids…. and I already know my wife is going to gain a bit of weight and lose the ‘married’ figure from when we first got together. Was my ability to appreciate physical beauty on women meant to be spent and used enjoying the physical beauty of all women or just one ? Was it moreso meant to be something I reserve for use on my wife as her body changes over time, so that I can still find her beautiful physically and not simply be ‘stuck’ idealizing the ‘younger models’ (as many late 40’s men do once their wives hit that age….) ?
Further, just like all other things, I’ve realized that looking around has become a trained habit with me. Scripture affirms this principle when Paul tells us that whatever we submit ourselves to, we become a slave to it. So I’ve allowed society to train my eyes and affections in a manner that looking around at women – even if not sexual – has become second nature to me so much that it’s like “what’s the big deal ?” to some of you reading this.
Think about it for a second. Maybe the reason it doesn’t grip you as being an important issue is because you’ve grown so used to it, that it’s become second nature. The culture we live in is saturated with sexualized images of women which constantly draw and tug at our eyes to delight in them. We may have gotten to the point of ‘okay, look but don’t look at those areas’…..
Kinda like asking a fish what does ‘it mean to be ‘wet’. Fish LIVE in ‘wet’. They don’t know anything else but ‘wet’. ‘Wet’ is normal to them. ‘Wet’ doesn’t have any real meaning until you realize what it is to be ‘dry’.
I wish I’d have realized this back in the early 90’s. But no one taught me. In fact, most of us simply go on about our lives doing things which are decidedly [i]un[i]christian and don’t reflect the Lord we claim to follow simply because we haven’t been taught.
Some of us have been fed the American lie: I have the right to do whatever I feel like doing, I have the right to be entertained and enjoy myself.
If you’re Christ’s, you weren’t saved to enjoy yourself and seek pleasure in the things of this world or in your own affections. 1 Corinthians 6 reminds us – we were bought with a price; therefore we need to glorify God with our bodies – that includes our eyes and our mind.
I have a few additional thoughts to add….but I have some work to get done this evening, so I’ll leave you with these.